Letter to Wisconsin, circa 2004

I used to carry notepads with me to the bars in order to record my various thoughts about things. On closer, and more sober review, much of it is gibberish. Tough, I'm posting it anyway. I also used to write frequent letters to various people, places, and things that I found vexing. To wit, a 2004 (ish) letter to the State of Wisconsin:

Yo Wisconsin--
can I call you 'consin? Good. You can call me Al. I am writing b/c I saw your quarter. It's cool...I guess. I get the cow & the cheese, but Not the corn. B/C I am from Indiana, & WE make corn, NOT you guys. Also, WHAT THE ABSOLUTELY RAINSTORM FUCKING FUCK IS UP WITH "FORWARD"?! THAT SHIT DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE YOU DUMBASS!!

Apparently I followed up that letter with another one:

Dear 'Consin--
I thought you were cool. Why you gots ta hate? My newest friend "Honey" tells me that perhaps "Forward" really means "straight". Is it true that you may actually be trying to keep gay people from living there? It is totally NOT 1952. Get w/the times! What if Brett Favre was gay? Not that he is, I'm just saying, wouldn't you love him just the same? Don't hate 'Consin, appreciate.

No, I don't know either. Alcohol is a helluva drug. Bitchin!