Off Topic

So I am watching Mtv--cut me some slack it's a new town and I don't have a job yet--when I happened upon a show I didn't know existed. You know how Mtv makes new shows and you think it's definitely a sign that our society has imploded because there is just no possible way there could be a showcase for worse human beings? Well, they've topped themselves again with this one. It's called Teen Cribs. The premise is that they find kids with permissive parents who will agree to let the camera crews in their home and film it while the kids walk around embarrassing themselves. Allow me, if you will, a moment for a recap.

I missed the start of the show, so all I know about these kids is that they're brother (19) and sister (16) and that they live in Dallas. They're wandering around the upstairs of the house talking about how they love playing ping pong in the ping pong room and then showing off their "home theater" room which, for some reason known only to their idiotic parents, not only has the requisite sectional couch but also a bar and bunk beds with full sized mattresses (they make those?). Bro and Sis talk about how many of their friends they love to have over and how awesome it is to party there. One of their hangers on sitting on the couch--a requirement for Cribs is to have random losers sitting around your house while you give the tour, right?--tells the camera that "everyone" comes there to party "all the time". Oh, so they're those parents.

This is followed up by the siblings heading out onto their "private" upstairs covered porch that overlooks the pool. The brother then explains how "awesome" it is to hang out there and relax and says there are "great stories" about the things that have happened there. You want an example? He'll provide. One time his friend dropped his hat off the balcony and reached out to grab it and fell over the rail to the pool deck below and "shattered his leg". I hope this family is well insured. Scratch that, I hope they're not.

Finally we get to go out to the cul de sac...WAIT A MINUTE...they live in a fucking subdivision?! How exclusive is this stupid show?! Anyway, the kids show us their "rides". He has a Chevy Avalanche which he tells us he doesn't take off-road much because he doesn't like to get it dirty--which I think in Texas means you're gay. Sister shows us her Nissan Xterra and tells about how she loves to drive around in it with the windows down singing with her friends--yeah, she's your typical annoying teenage girl at a stoplight.

The best part about this show was how there were interspersed clips from Dad explaining about how he's really glad they "have liked living here" and that he really just hopes that "they have wonderful memories of growing up here". HAHA, take that dose of reality kids, this ain't yo house! You didn't work for it so get out--and I'm pretty sure he's looking at you, 19-year-old deadbeat gay son.